WHY DO PASTORS FACE DIFFICULTIES WHEN ASKING FOR HELP?
By Sam Rainer, Op-ed Contributor Sunday, January 21, 2024
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Too long passed, but I finally decided to get the help I needed. My first coaching call with this pastor was similar to that of many others.
For years, this pastor carried the burden of leadership on his own without much support. He was unable to withstand the added pressure as tensions rose in his church. To be honest, no one has to bear all this responsibility alone.
Not many priests do that.
She got better after professional counseling and several training sessions. He is ready to take on the next challenge at his church.
For what reason do so many pastors who face difficulties ask for help?
Fear of being weak When a person feels insecure, they can think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. A priest will be asked to keep his distance from others out of fear of being perceived as weak.
Layers of control When pastors feel they can stand up for themselves, asking for help shows that they no longer have the ability to stand up for themselves.
Worrying about the rejection of negative experiences when anxiety can undermine your self-confidence. Asking for help can lead to a deep sense of rejection.
Excessive zeal Some pastors find that their success depends on their relationships with others. However, being overly empathetic causes you to assume the other person's emotions before they even have a chance to respond. The pastor did not ask for help because he thought it would burden others.
The past is burned. Unfortunately, many pastors have asked for help before only to receive ill treatment from their church. For what reasons does the risk of fire continue to increase?
The despair of feeling like a failure and asking for help can feel like something else piled on the pile of failures if you're not confident in your leadership.
The problem can get worse with the combination of all these things. Many of them are perceptions rather than facts. However, we have to deal with perceived problems in the same way that we do. How can pastors address these issues and get the help they need?
- Pray specifically, and start now. Talk to God! Give him your special attention! Pastors may be guilty of talking about God far more than we talk to him.
- Be honest with your partner, talk together, and pray together. Talking to the people closest to you can help you improve your ability to ask for help.
- Don't skip this step to get an outside perspective. Every pastor needs an external perspective, especially in difficult situations. Be sure to take the time to talk to a mental health professional. Consider enlisting the help of a coach from your church. Personally, I really like the Platinum Church Answers training program!
- Start with a small circle of faith in the church. You are better prepared to build trust with a small group in your church after you talk to your spouse and get an outside look at counseling and coaching. Trusting someone means you value them. I don't think it's wise for pastors to use the pulpit to convey their struggles. Healing is more likely to occur in a circle of trust than in a public place.
- Have fun and enjoy your time. Struggling pastors are also less likely to have fun. When I see pastors having fun, there is usually no problem. Is this relationship a cause-and-effect or a correlation? I didn't know it. But there's something funny about "go out and enjoy something fun outside of service."
The Apostle Paul recorded in his letter to the Philippians how the church shares in giving and receiving. They help each other. Even pastors must receive service upon admission to their church. Asking for help is moral and beneficial to the psyche.
It was first published in Church Answers.
Answers Church President and Pastor at West Bradenton Baptist Church, Florida, Sam Rainer.
News Sources :https://www.christianpost.com/voices/why-pastors-struggle-to-ask-for-help-and-how-to-get-past-it.html
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